Forgiveness can be a complex process that involves willfully releasing harmful or resentful feelings towards a situation or individual who has treated you wrongfully or unjustly. Inevitably, most of us have had experiences of being wronged, hurt or treated unfairly at some point in our lives. Depending on the situation, the actions, decisions and behaviors of others can have a lasting and negative impact on us. Anger, bitterness, resentment and feelings of mistrust are often common emotional reactions that can affect you in the long term. When unchecked, negative emotions can cause sustained pain and suffering and at times end up sabotaging our relationships.
The benefits of forgiveness when possible has long been supported by research. Among some of the benefits are reduction of stress, anxiety and depressive symptoms, heart health improvement, self-esteem enhancement and resiliency. Forgiveness can also lead to healthier and more fulfilling relationships.
While there is no one path to forgiveness, it often occurs in stages over time for most. Forgiveness is not about lessening or removing the responsibility of another, but rather, lessening the negative impact that a situation may have on you.
When considering forgiving someone, first assess the toll that the pain and suffering has caused you over time. Be sure to fully understand all the factors of the situation that caused you pain or hurt along with understanding the relevance of forgiveness. This can be an important foundation to begin with. Making the decision to alter and alleviate the power and control a negative situation has had on you can be empowering and liberating.
Check to see if you can possibly develop empathy for an individual that has led to your pain. Additionally, be patient and empathic with yourself. Tell yourself that forgiveness is a choice and releasing painful memories as they resurface can also be useful measures in the process of forgiveness. Finally, developing insights into any lessons learned from your experiences may also be helpful.
The journey of forgiveness will likely be met with challenges and setbacks along the way and will require a recommitment to the process. Although forgiveness may not be attainable for all situations, it is a process that can contribute meaningfully to your quality of life by lessening the power negative experiences from your past may have.
