Helping Grieving Employees

Helping the Grieving Employee

• An important role as manager is to help your employees feel supported and valued.  Meet, and support, your grieving employee by acknowledging their pain and listening to their needs and concerns.  It’s the first step.
• Supervisor/Manager Questions to ask: What information do you want others to know?  Do you want to talk about your experience with others, or do you prefer to concentrate on your work?  Is there anything specific to your work that you want help with? Let the employee know that you will check back with them as a gesture of on-going support.
• For anyone in the workplace: It’s most helpful to offer specifichelp or practical assistance. Meals, rides, picking something up for them, other needed help. The grieving employee will most likely not feel able to ask for this.
• Stay in touch. Show on-going concern. Each day may be different for your employee emotionally.
• Offer an opportunity and safe place for the employee to discuss their feelings if they need it while respecting their wishes should they not be comfortable.
• Understand that the employee’s focus is not at optimal levels.
• Know that people heal in their own time. A person who has experienced a loss may also experience delayed grief.
• Make note of and be sensitive to the anniversary of the loss.
• Provide HelpPeople EAP information.
• Be aware of your own feelings during this time and do for yourself in the same way that you are encouraging others to do.

What to Say – for anyone

“I’m so sorry.”

“I wish I had the right words.”

“You and your family will be in my prayers.”

“I’ve been thinking about you a lot lately.”

“Do you feel like talking?”

“I can’t imagine how you feel, but I will be here for you.”

“Don’t worry at all about crying in front of me. It’s normal and understandable.”

“You know I’m usually up late.  If you want or need to talk, give me a call.”

Avoid Saying-

“I understand.”

“I know how you feel.”   (Don’t relate your own past experiences to the experiences of anyone grieving.)

“Maybe God has a different plan for you.”

“Be strong.”

Other Ways to be Helpful

Providing a handwritten note, taking up a collection for a dinner out, a desired service, pampering or special item. Organize a schedule with others to provide meals or other help that is needed.