Coping with The Loss of a Co-Worker

No one is ever fully prepared for the death of a co-worker.  You may feel overwhelmed about how you and your workplace can continue on without your co-worker, someone you knew well and interacted with regularly. How can you cope with your own grief and help others during a difficult time? It’s understandable that you are grieving. It’s expected because you cared.

Many people spend more time with their co-workers than with some of their family members, and you may miss a co-worker who died as much as they would miss a close relative. It’s important to:

• Let yourself grieve.  In the days and weeks following the death of someone you work with, you may have some difficulty eating, sleeping, or concentrating. Or you may become tearful, tired, or irritable more easily than usual. These are not uncommon reactions. With support and self-care, these challenging symptoms should subside.
• Remember that everybody grieves in a different way. Your response to a death may be very different from that of the people around you. Allow your co-workers to grieve in their own way.  There is no judgment in grief. Don’t make judgments about how others “should” or “shouldn’t” be feeling.
• Pay attention to how you’re functioning. If you’re having trouble concentrating, try to temporarily reduce your expectations of yourself and step back from additional tasks that you may take on. You can also talk to someone who may be able to give you ideas on how to cope.  You can always with a HelpPeople counselor, or a trusted friend.
• Make time to share memories with your co-workers. It helps to connect with others at work who had shared experiences with the co-worker who passed.  Go to lunch, take a walk, or get together in some way with others whom you worked with to memorialize, admire, laugh, or cry. Shared grief can help you get through the difficult times. If you try to act as though nothing has changed, your feelings may stay buried and return at unexpected times.
• Find a permanent way to remember your co-worker. Put together a book of memories to give to your co-worker’s family (and be sure to find out if any of your co-workers have photos that you might want to copy for the book). It may help you to feel as though you are helping others such as family members. Have a fundraiser or take up a collection for a cause the person supported or for the family.
• Watch for trouble signs.  If you are feeling overwhelmed, or if you find that you’re taking the loss much harder than other people, there’s no shame in talking to a counselor or another professional who can help you sort through your confusing emotions. Remember everyone’s grief is unique.